User:	citizenbleys
	Date:	2009-12-18 20:44
	Subject:	The most retarded thing ever
	Security:	Public

We have a fireplace channel. The same 30 second clip of burning logs looped indefinitely 24/7.

WHY?

	User:	citizenbleys
	Date:	2009-12-13 09:38
	Subject:
	Security:	Public

also from notalwaysright:


Be All The Genders You Can Be
Gas Station | Seattle, WA, USA

(An older man who looks to be in his 80s approaches the counter.)
Me: “Good morning, sir.”
Customer: “I’m not a ’sir’.”
Me: “…”
Customer: “…”
Me: “…ma’am?”
Customer: “Are you getting sarcastic with me?”
Me: “No…you’re confusing me.”
Customer: “Have you been in the military?”
Me: “…no. But several of my family members have.”
Customer: “Well, you should. You’d be perfect.” *salutes and leaves*
Coworker: *walking in* “Who was that guy?”
Me: “Sergeant Transvestite?”


You're supposed to laugh at the old guy. I'm laughing at the guy who posted the story.

	User:	citizenbleys
	Date:	2009-12-12 04:28
	Subject:	Also from notalwaysright:
	Security:	Public

Me: “Hi, I’m calling on behalf of [power company]. I’m conducting a survey about your electrical service.”


That's not the whole joke. I just think it's hilarious that a power company is conducting a survey.

	User:	citizenbleys
	Date:	2009-12-11 04:17
	Subject:
	Security:	Public

from notalwaysright.com:

Smoking Man: “No, I am a fireman! We use petroleum to put out fires!”

	User:	doomgaze
	Date:	2009-12-08 14:42
	Subject:
	Security:	Public

also,

	User:	doomgaze
	Date:	2009-12-08 14:16
	Subject:
	Security:	Public

Hmm.

	User:	citizenbleys
	Date:	2009-12-07 13:12
	Subject:	Haiku
	Security:	Public

I felt like using a simile that makes absolutely no goddamn sense, so I wrote a haiku about the weather:

Snowflakes falling down
From the clear sky like Nazis
Winter fucking sucks

/bow

EDIT: An encore

That guy on my lawn
looks sort of batshit insane
shit he's got a gun

	User:	citizenbleys
	Date:	2009-12-07 09:35
	Subject:	Fun? Star Trek Fact
	Security:	Public

In The Royale, which aired in early 1989, Picard referred to "Fermat's Last Theorem" as something unsolved 300 years from now.

It was solved 6 years later by Andrew Wiles, a math nerd who none of you have probably even heard of.